Being Adopted

{...................................}

2010-03-27T23:28:00.005+01:00

My dad passed away on January 27, 2010 surrounded by his family. Thanks to all who supported us in the past 2 years...

On my way back to Munich

2009-11-27T12:43:00.006+01:00

Just at Tan Son Nhat airport Saigon. On my way back to Munich. Need to return earlier. My dad got diagnosed pneumonia. Due to leukemia treatment every infection is life-threatening. He is now on intensive care unit, placed in a coma. So scared, but hope everything will be fine soon. Being so far away drives my crazy. 24 hours flight incl. layover ahead. Can't wait to see him tomorrow...

Take a Little Time...

2009-11-06T22:37:00.003+01:00

In our fast moving society time is a very precious gift. We rush through life and too often we don’t take the time to see the world around us, the people around us. But time is the most precious gift you can give to your family, to your friends and even to a stranger – and to yourself. Time you don’t have, time you take!

To spend time with friends has always been very important to me. But since my dad is sick, I appreciate time even more. The time I spend with my dad, but also the time friends take to have a coffee and a chat or just to drop a short email on a quick is a precious gift for me and often makes my day...

So once a while I have to remind myself not to rush through life, but to take the time!

Back in Saigon

2009-10-27T17:38:00.005+01:00

I'm all happy, because I'm back in Saigon since Friday. Caught up with many lovely friends for coffee, coffee and coffee, moved into a nice apartment right in the city center, got a motorbike to cruise around like crazy and my Vietnamese prepaid is finally working again. So I'm pretty much settled :-) And best of all: my dad's back home from hospital enjoying wife, dogs and house - and freedom!

One Year Later

2009-10-05T01:25:00.006+02:00

It's been one year already since my dad received a stem cell transfusion. So far the transfusion itself seems to be successful, but unfortunately he still suffers from some serious side effects of the treatment. Within this year he had to return to hospital several times and since two weeks he's back in hospital again. Close to kidney failure he urgently needed dialysis to stabilize him as well as a kidney biopsy to find the source of this recurring health problem. We'll get the results this week...

Minority Registry Facts

2009-09-02T23:42:00.018+02:00

As of December 2008 (NMDP Report)

Give a Little, Save a Life

2009-08-06T17:48:00.002+02:00

Largest Vietnamese Marrow Drive Ever

2009-08-06T14:16:00.007+02:00

Largest Vietnamese Marrow drive ever THIS WEEKEND, 6 - 9 August. If you're around this area please join. Your help will increase the chances to find the right match for every patient in need. Location: 1900 Grand Ave., Carthage, MO 64836.

Because tissue types are inherited, we are most likely to find a match amongst Asians or Vietnamese. Unfortunately Vietnamese are underrepresented in marrow and stem cell registries. Many Vietnamese patients as well as patients of other minorities in need haven't found the right match yet and it's a race against time! Getting registered all it takes is four swabs of your cheeks.

Contact a marrow and stem cell registry in your country and get a swab kit or join a marrow drive near you:
Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches - Future Drives.

Team Matthew

2009-08-06T14:11:00.002+02:00

Highly recommended blog to read: Team Matthew Blog

Save Vietnamese Marrow Patients

2009-08-06T14:02:00.006+02:00

(projectswab.org + teamanh.org)

Your help is needed!

2009-07-03T00:29:00.014+02:00

Dr. Anh Nguyen Reiss is a 43 year old mother, a doctor, and a Vietnamese immigrant who was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS) in February 2009. Anh's only cure is a stem cell transplant. Anh has been undergoing chemotherapy and regular blood transfusions to stabilize her red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets levels, but she is in a race to find a matching Asian or Vietnamese stem cell donor.

She is a caring doctor who has touched countless lives. She has delivered some 3,000 babies in Houston! She's an ob/gyn at Memorial Herman Southwest. Besides delivering some 300 babies a year in private practice Anh also provides emergency care for indigent patients. Now you can help save Anh's life.

Please help!

Getting registered! All it takes is four swabs of your cheeks. It's quick and painless to register and free for ethnic minorities. Asians, especially Vietnamese are urgently needed because they are under-represented in the marrow and stem cell registry.

Emailing a message to everyone you know to help Anh and others like her. Please refer to http://www.teamanh.org/ and teamanh@gmail.com.

Spreading the word through Facebook & Twitter. Invite your friends (especially minority ones) to join Anh's Facebook group.

(As you all know my family has been touched by leukemia just 1 year ago. Luckily the right match could be found for my dad. But all patients in need should have the chance to find the life-saving match! Let's increase our chances together...)

Back in Munich

2009-07-02T21:10:00.002+02:00

... at least for a couple of months.

Even though I miss Saigon and my life back there so much, it's good to be back in Munich, too. I haven't seen my dad for a while and he was all happy and excited when I came to visit him last weekend.

Back in Saigon I often felt guilty, because I couldn't care for him the way I did before. I called him very often, but it's just not the same. Now I will use the time here to spend time with him and to join him to his weekly check-ups in hospital.

He seems to be better than 3 months before, but recovers slower than he expected. Mainly because of the many side effects, caused by the stem cell transfusion and all the meds he needs to take. But he is more active now and step by step he fights his way back to normal life.

Tomorrow is his weekly check-up appointment...

Saigon Summary

2009-07-02T20:29:00.020+02:00

After 3 wonderful months in Saigon, I'm now back in Munich. Saigon was just great! Living with my "sister" and her family, cruising around on the motorbike every day, catching up with friends and making new friends, thinking about business ideas... I really enjoyed my time to the fullest and hope to be back in September this year.

Food, drinks and friends summary

Caught up with friends for lunch: many, many times

Caught up with friends for coffee: many, many times

Caught up with friends for dinner: many, many times

Went to club and party with friends: many, many times

Fell in love: 1 (With my cute 5 year old "nephew"... he is awesome!)

Thanks to Centro Cafe, 11-13 Lam Son Square, my second home :) Great staff and yummy Cappuccino Freddo...

Motorbike summary

Lost parking ticket: 1 (Blown away by the storm)

Pulled over by the police: 1 (Trying to escape from the police, using cell while riding, driving without license)

Accidents: 1 (A dude crashed into my side, but "only" hit my foot)

Cruising hours: at least 1 hour a day...

Caught by the rain: several times (Thanks sister for your raindance every time I was on the motorbike, hehe)

Health summary

Countless mosquito bites during balcony night sessions with my sister

Strained wrist while pushing the motorbike into the living room

Burned arm with hot curly iron, beauty comes with a price :-)

Bruise after falling on the granit stair with my laptop

A/C cold several times

Most favorite places during this stay: Centro Cafe, Cepage, Trung Nguyen Cafe (Bui Thi Xuan), Sushi Bar, Blackcat, Pho24, La Hostaria, La Opera, Golden Elephant, Swimming Pool of Dien Thao Village, Seventeen Saloon, Saigon Square, Lotte Mart in Dist. 7 :-)

Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches (A3M)

2009-04-24T10:57:00.004+02:00

English

Tiẽng Việt

Please help to increase the number of registrations and therefore increase the chances to find the right match for all patients in need!

One more link to check out:
http://www.asianmarrow.org/

Riding a Motorbike in Saigon

2009-04-16T18:21:00.022+02:00

When riding the motorbike in Saigon always look at the traffic in front of you. (Side mirrors are only good to either do your make-up or check the cutie behind you.) Adapt your driving to what the drivers in front of you do and be ready to go around cars, motorbikes, mobile food stalls, cyclos or pedestrians and don't break out of a sudden. During daytime the traffic is pretty slow, because streets are so overcrowded you can’t go fast. Roundabouts are very easy, just go with the flow. If you come to a crossing with no traffic lights, slowly go forward. If you wait until no motorbike is crossing anymore, you'll wait for ages. If you are scared to go on your own, wait a few seconds till a crowd of motorbikes will cross with you together. If you want to turn right at a traffic light, most of the time you are allowed to even if the traffic light is red. Don't rely on the turn signals, people often forget to turn them off. And last but not least only use parking with guards.

Try to stick to the traffic rules, wear a helmet, don’t run over a red light, don’t ride against the one way, don’t drive on a pedestrian walk, don't use your cell phone while driving, etc... more police is around nowadays and will pull you over. So far I got pulled over four times. Most of the time they not only whistle, but jump right in front of your motorbike while you are still riding. Note: Pretending he couldn't mean me and trying to escape is not an option. They chased me twice... I smiled at them and started to speak German. That kind of freaked them out. Another even nicer smile a few minutes later and they let me go. Not sure this would still work today, so I now stick to the traffic rules (most of the times) :-) A very good friend gave me the following advice: When you get pulled over, take the key and never give it to them, stay on the motorbike and don’t speak Vietnamese or English, because once they have your motorbike it’s a hassle to get it back.

Rent a Motorbike and Get a Vietnamese Cell Phone Number First!

2009-04-16T18:17:00.005+02:00

The next days I caught up with my friends. It was so nice to see them again. We went for lunch, coffee, dinner, lunch, coffee, dinner.. Just not for breakfast, because I am not a morning person.

Then I bought a Vietnamese SIM card for my cell. You can buy it everywhere. Watch out for promotional offers. There is always a little credit on your card already, but sometimes more, sometimes less. You can either chose Vinaphone, MobiFone or Viettel. Those three are the big players here.

And last but not least I rented a motorbike, because this is the best way to get around in Saigon. A good place for rental is the backpacker area, around Pham Ngu Lao Street. A friend recommended “Chi Café”, 40/27 Bui Vien Street. I got a new Honda Wave for 60 USD a month. This is a good deal!

Now having a motorbike and a Vietnamese cell phone number again I'm all settled again. Honestly, I really love to ride the motorbike and I'm used to driving in the amazing traffic of Saigon. But this time I was a little scared in the beginning and had to get used to the busy traffic nowadays. But hey, it’s always good to be back and what is life without challenges :-)

The Best Place to Stay...

2009-04-16T18:14:00.004+02:00

I stay with a friend and his family and it's so great to see them again! He's also an adoptee from Vietnam who grew up in the US. We became friends when I lived in Saigon in 2004 for two years. For his wife Loan I feel like a sister and we always have great fun together. And their son is so cute; he generously offered me his very own room to stay in while he moves into his parents’ room. It’s a nice air con room, every morning “Tom & Jerry” smile at me from the wardrobe door and every night I fall asleep in a red racing car bed hugging “Elmo” from Sesame Street. Awesome!

Grab a Meter Taxi

2009-04-16T18:13:00.003+02:00

Taxis outside of the airport are still the same though. Some try to get 20 USD for a ride to the city. So make sure you get meter taxi then it’ll only cost you about 6-7 USD. Normally I enjoy the ride to the city very much, but this time the traffic got really a lot worse. So many cars and even more motorbikes make the often narrow roads totally overcrowded, especially during rush hour. Still it felt good to drive through the so familiar roads again.

Arriving in Saigon

2009-04-16T18:11:00.001+02:00

So many things have changed... again. When I arrived at Tan Son Nhat airport the terminal is all new now. Immigration was very fast, maybe because I was the first one who got out off the plane :-) I remembered my first time when I arrived at the airport. We left the plane, walked across the airfield to the terminal, the building looked very old and at the immigrations there were only small tables. Later on they changed a little here, a little there. But now the terminal is all new.

Leaving for Saigon...

2009-04-06T16:39:00.000+02:00

... tonight :-)

When you Book a Flight to Vietnam…

2009-03-14T13:44:00.006+01:00

… don’t forget to ask for ethnic fare. If you can prove you were born in Vietnam some airlines offer a limited amount of ethnic fare tickets for flights to Vietnam. A proof could be the place of birth in your passport or the visa exemption for Vietnam also in your passport. Normally those tickets are a bit cheaper and you are allowed to carry more baggage. So it’s worth to ask :-)

Trip to Saigon Rescheduled

2009-03-14T13:29:00.004+01:00

Last weekend my dad suffered from side effects of his treatment. I brought him to hospital and docs started to check for the source of his serious breathing problems right away. I hope he will feel better again soon so he can go back home next week. Due to the bad condition of my dad I rescheduled my flight to Saigon. I just can’t leave until I know he is well again.

Chuc Mung Giang Sinh va Mot Nam Moi rat Vui

2008-12-22T13:09:00.005+01:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to my family, my friends and all readers of my blog! This Christmas will be special for us! Thanks to the doctors and most of all to the unknown donor my dad can celebrate Christmas with his family. He is home from rehab now, looking forward to spend a wonderful time with his family. He still suffers from some side effects of the treatment, but compared to mid of May he feels so much better with every day.

Tip for all who celebrate Christmas is Saigon: Don’t even try to go around on your motorbike, because you won’t get through the masses :-) But it’s an amazing experience so don’t miss it...

House of Grace

2008-11-28T11:03:00.006+01:00

House of Grace is an amazing charity project of Hoa Stone. I deeply admire him for what he has created and achieved with great dedication and compassion!

Registered!

2008-11-26T20:45:00.008+01:00

A few days ago I received my donor card from the German bone marrow donor registry. Now I'm officially registered :) Please consider to register, too, and help to increase the chances to find the right match for all patients in need. Donors of these backgrounds are especially needed: Black or African American, American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, Hispanic or Latino as well as people of mixed heritage.

Bone Marrow Donor Registry in Vietnam

2008-11-23T22:31:00.006+01:00

Working as freelance management consultant is ok. But deep inside there is a longing to do social projects. I admire people like Susan McDonald, who risk her life to save ours during the Vietnam War. Or Hoa Stone, a Vietnamese adoptee, who founded the orphanage House of Grace for disadvantaged kids in Saigon.

Since my dad has been diagnosed with leukemia in May this year, I'm aware of the problem that today there simply aren't enough registered donors of diverse racial and ethnic heritage. Furthermore it seems there is no national bone marrow donor registry in Vietnam so far. A registry could be life-saving for Vietnamese, Vietnamese overseas, Vietnamese adoptees as well as for people of mixed heritage. So to set up one connected to the international registries would be just great!

Thanks to Peter Hill who already started to get more information about this topic and contacted people who might be able to help. The last months I was too busy and only sent out some emails and letters to raise awareness to this very important topic. Now I will have some more time and together we try to get the ball rolling. Everyone who is interested in this topic or even could provide further information is welcome to join us!

Stem Cell Transplantation has been Successful

2008-11-10T13:22:00.007+01:00

Doctors got great news for my dad. Stem cell transplantation has been successful! The donor cells began to create new blood cells and his blood cell count went up. No evidence of the disease can be found in the blood or marrow anymore and a complete remission has been achieved. Of cause he is still at risk of relapse and it will take some time to go back to normal life, but he survived and treatment was successful!

He still suffers from several side effects. Physically he feels dizzy and has difficulties to keep balance. Maybe, because he eats and drinks too little. So he couldn't go home last Friday. Emotionally he is tired, too. After all he had to go through in the last months, he is very sad sometimes. To see him like this makes me very sad too. But today he feels better again and might leave hopital this Tuesday. Step by step he will make it!

Dad, I love you!

Day 0

2008-10-03T22:40:00.010+02:00

Yesterday was day 0. My dad received the donor bone marrow. The stem cell transfusion took about 2 hours. After that he tried to rest. Today he feels very weak, can’t breathe properly and is in pain. Doctors and nurses take good care of him. But to see someone you love suffer so much breaks your heart.

Happy Birthday!?

2008-09-27T13:01:00.014+02:00

According to my birth certificate I turned one year older yesterday. But since I learned in the beginning of my twenties that the 26th of September is not my correct date of birth, this day is more or less like any other day of the year.

Reading through the few documents I have another date of birth mentioned is the 20th of September. But this date isn’t correct either. Taking the little information in my orphanage report my birthday is more likely in the beginning of September.

Some friends say, it doesn’t matter whether it is my correct birthday or not. I should celebrate anyway. But I just can’t, because it reminds me of the reason and circumstances back then why I and many others of us have lost our very own history, even our true date of birth.

Maybe it wouldn’t make any difference to people who still know many other things about their beginnings. But because I only had so little information, the little things were so important to me. Since I knew it isn't my correct date of birth it took away one more information about my very own history.

Being a war orphan we also lost our people, our culture and our language. The little connection to our roots is the little information about our beginnings. Finding out that even the little information we have isn't correct leaves us with even less.

Does this make sense?

(More background information you can read in my post “Vietnamese Adoptee Searching for Biological Relatives”)

Please don't get me wrong. I don't only look at what I've lost, but also try to see the different sides of the story. Now being a grown up, it's on me what I do out of it. And I decided to be active. Means search for my birth parents in 1998, moved to Saigon for 2 years to live and work there in 2004 (Trăm nghe không bằng một thấy!), made friends with other Vietnamese adoptees and former orphange carers...

Some things I've lost I can't get back, but I can re-connect to my roots at least to a certain degree. And by doing this I found a sense of identity and a feeling of belonging which gave me some inner peace. All this together gave me the strength to try and see the different sides of the story. More about this some time later...

Thanks so much for your Support!

2008-09-23T13:24:00.018+02:00

I just received an email from Ted Nguyen, Vietnamese Outreach & Recruitment Coordinator of Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches. He told me that some Vietnamese adoptees and friends already sent him inquiries for further information on bone marrow donor registries. Thanks so much to all who read the article and special thanks to all who supported me to spread the word by posting the article in their groups, blogs and mailing lists!

Bone Marrow Donor Registry in Vietnam?

2008-09-21T18:44:00.006+02:00

For bone marrow donor registry in Vietnam, I couldn’t find anything about it. I guess there is none so far, but I would appreciate any information as this is a project that I am interested in. If there is no formal bone marrow donor registry in Vietnam so far, I would like to figure out at least the chances to set up one.

Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C)

2008-09-17T14:55:00.003+02:00

For more information click here: Stand Up To Cancer

Let’s Increase Our Chances Together

2008-09-16T22:20:00.024+02:00

For many patients who have leukemia a stem cell transfusion is the only chance to survive. A certain percentage can receive life-saving stem cells from relatives. If none of the relatives fit, then a match can be found in the bone marrow registry "National Marrow Donor Program".

However, as Vietnamese adoptees, we often don't know our biological relatives. Furthermore, the National Marrow Donor Program as well as the equivalent organizations in other countries lack donors of Asian or mixed heritage.

Most donors registered are Caucasians and in case they would need stem cell transfusions their chances to find a match are approximately 80%. For Asians or those of mixed heritage chances to find a match are far lower, if not even half.

For stem cell transfusion racial and ethnic heritage are very important factors. Because tissue types are inherited, patients are most likely to match someone of their own race or ethnicity. Together we can increase our chances and become donors for us, our kids, and as well as for any other Vietnamese or Amerasian in need.

For more information click on the following links:

http://www.marrow.org/
http://www.asianmarrow.org/

Please consider to register. It can be you, your kids or your (adoptee) friend who could need a life-saving stem cell transfusion now or in the future.

To register or for further information
You are welcome to contact Mr. Ted Nguyen from “Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches”.

Ted Nguyen
Vietnamese Outreach & Recruitment Coordinator
Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches (A3M)
244 S. San Pedro Street #503
Los Angeles, CA 90012
Toll free: 1 888 A3M Hope.
Phone: (213) 625-2802 x106
Email: tnguyen@Ltsc.org

(Only within the US, for other countries please check your national bone marrow registry or ask your doctor of any programs in your area.)

Important information for Vietnamese adoptees in Germany
DKMS mentions a minimum weight of 50 kg, but requirements for donors of Asian heritage have been changed this year. Body high of <155 cm (male) and <145 cm (female) as well as weight below 50 kg are now allowed.

A touching story of a Chinese adoptee in need of stem cell transfusion
This is one of many stories which shows we need more registered donors of Asian or mixed heritage.
http://www.kaileegetwells.com/

Some bone marrow donor registries
National Marrow Donor Program (USA)
OneMatch Stem Cell and Marrow Network (CAN)
Australian Bone Marrow Donor Registry (AUS)
The Anthony Nolan Trust (GBR)
Registre France Greffe de Moelle (FRA)
Deutsche Knochenmarkspenderdatei (GER)

"Operation Babylift: The Lost Children of Vietnam" Trailer

2008-09-05T12:28:00.003+02:00

Donors with Diverse Racial or Ethnic Backgrounds are Especially Needed!

2008-08-13T13:27:00.010+02:00

I will take the chance once more to draw attention to the topic that racial and ethnic heritage are very important factors when a bone marrow transplant is needed.

Especially for "us" as Vietnamese adoptees this could be quite important, because often we don't know our biological relatives and the bone marrow registry needs more Asians and people of mixed heritage!

Does race or ethnicity affect matching?
Racial and ethnic heritage are very important factors. Because tissue types are inherited, patients are most likely to match someone of their own race or ethnicity. Today, there simply aren't enough registered donors of diverse racial and ethnic heritage. Adding more diverse donors increases the likelihood that all patients will find a life-saving match. Donors of these backgrounds are especially needed:

Black or African American
American Indian or Alaska Native
Asian
Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
Hispanic or Latino
Mixed heritage

Please help to increase the number of registrations and therefore increase the chances to find the right match for all patients in need!

One more link to check out:
http://www.asianmarrow.org/

(Text partly taken from www.marrow.org)

Just Got 5 Year Visa Exemption for Vietnam

2008-08-11T17:13:00.011+02:00

As mentioned in my blog post from July 26, 2008 Vietnamese adoptees can apply for a 5 year visa exemption for Vietnam. Means within this time we can travel back and forth as often as we want with a maximum stay of 90 days each visit. It only costs 20 USD.

Only two weeks ago I sent my passport, the application form, my original birth certificate and a copy of the document confirming the name change to the Vietnamese Embassy in Berlin / Germany. Last Friday I already received my 5 year visa exemption. I am all happy, not only because traveling back and forth will be a lot easier, but also because it is a prove of my Vietnamese origin.

While living in Saigon until end of 2005 the status of us as Vietnamese adoptees wasn’t really clear. This visa exemption is the first step.

Future will show how Vietnamese authorities continue to change rules and regulations for Viet Kieu (Vietnamese Overseas) and Vietnamese adoptees...

Bone Marrow Donor for My Dad Found!

2008-08-07T12:35:00.031+02:00

What a great day! I just received the news that a bone marrow donor for my dad has been found. So in case he will need a transplant there is one generous donor from the United States who matches. According to treatment protocol we will know in approx. 2 weeks how treatment will continue. Either chemo therapie for 8 more months or transplantation within the next months. It’s such a relief to know in case he will need a transplant they already found a donor.

With all the fear, the sadness and the uncertainness there are good news as well that gives my dad and the rest of the family hope and strength in times like these.

Before my dad has been diagnosed leukemia he was registered as potential donor for a long time already. And the reason why we received such great news today is, because many others are registered as well. Please consider to register too. It could be you who can save a life! Donors with diverse racial or ethnic backgrounds are especially needed.

Does race or ethnicity affect matching?
Racial and ethnic heritage are very important factors. Because tissue types are inherited, patients are most likely to match someone of their own race or ethnicity. Today, there simply aren't enough registered donors of diverse racial and ethnic heritage. Adding more diverse donors increases the likelihood that all patients will find a life-saving match. Donors of these backgrounds are especially needed:

Black or African American
American Indian or Alaska Native
Asian
Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
Hispanic or Latino
Mixed heritage

Please help to increase the number of registrations and therefore increase the chances to find the right match for all patients in need!

(Text partly taken from www.marrow.org)

Former Orphanage Workers

2008-08-06T13:47:00.006+02:00

More Friends in Saigon

2008-08-06T12:02:00.003+02:00

Friends in Saigon

2008-07-30T14:34:00.004+02:00

Love at First Sight!

2008-07-29T17:13:00.012+02:00

Back in Saigon I only spent one amazing night with "Giorgio". I wasn’t sure at first, because he was 1 year younger than me and normally I like older ones. But I gave it a try. He waited in front of my office. He looked stunning in his blue suit. It was love at first sight and we enjoyed an unforgettable ride through the night. The next day he was full of denial – I tried it in a loving and caring way, I tried it in a mean and angry way. But no matter what I did, he just didn’t want to continue what had just begun. I even bought him a complete make-over and filled him up with a yummy mixed drink of gas and oil, but Giorgio, my vintage Vespa S50 turned out to be really stubborn and kick start him didn’t work out anymore! It took me a while to accept we won’t have another amazing night out. So after a few weeks I started to "date" ugly, but reliable Honda Wave, but Giorgio will always be unforgettable…

What is Important in Life?

2008-07-29T15:12:00.010+02:00

Even though I think about my "ants in the pants" – which is important, there are more important things in life. At least for me, right now.

Being adopted means for me, my adoptive parents are my parents. They raised me and loved me. And my adoptive brother is my brother, a great big bother everyone would wish for.

(Of cause there are two sides of the medal. Being adopted also means, someone gave you away and in my case being a war orphan the roots of my very own history are lost and starts with being adopted. All the rest seems unknown. But this is another story…)

In May this year my dad has been diagnosed leukemia. This changes a lot about "What is important in life". After the first shock we try to go through it together as a family and as best as we can. I want to be there for my dad and also for my mom and support them together with my brother. So I put my career on hold which is easy, because I have achieved more than I ever wanted to achieve and career was never that important to me anyway. My dad is important!

I don’t know how to cope with this situation. All I know is that I have to put my own fears aside at least for the time being, because I need to be strong for my parents.

So what is important in life? Right now my family – no matter whether being adopted or not.

Ants in the Pants

2008-07-29T14:22:00.009+02:00

Or: "I still haven’t found what I am looking for?!"

No matter whether adopted or not, most of us experience phases of life where we think about ourselves and our life more than usual. How do I want my life to be? What do I need and what do I want? Am I on the right way?

My whole life I felt like being on the move. With ants in the pants not able to commit and settle, but still searching for something I haven’t found yet. Maybe being adopted is one of several reasons why I am so unsteady, being more than flexible and changing my life nearly completely every one to two years.

Is it I already found it, but I just can’t see and appreciate? Or is it because I still haven’t found what I need and want and therefore can’t commit? Which one causes the other one? Either way right now I feel like I don’t know what I want in life – again or still...

I always thought I want to commit and settle down, found an own business, have a lovely relationship and start a family. And within this general and calm environment be happy and face the challenges of life in a strong and positive way.

Being unsettled all the time costs lots of energy and often feels lonely. So I should think and sort things out to find my way. Then create the environment to go my way. So far I don’t know which way I want to go and it feels like I am still searching for something… Ants in the pants!

Deep inside I guess I long for finally settling down, I just need to figure out the reason that holds me off from settling down…

Lactose Intolerance – Please No Milk!

2008-07-27T00:33:00.003+02:00

Since I was a kid, I had stomachache. So often. My parents prepared warm milk with honey, but it didn’t help. We went to several doctors, but all they could find were a high amount of white blood cells. Some didn’t even believe I was in pain and thought I just want to ditch school. So I had stomachache throughout my whole childhood, apparently without a reason…

Many years later a good friend of mine studied nutrition science and suggested to check for lactose intolerance, because 98% of Southeast Asians have an inability to digest significant amounts of lactose, the major sugar found in milk. This inability results from a shortage of the enzyme lactase. Lactase breaks down the milk sugar, so the body can easily digest it. When there is not enough lactase to digest the amount of lactose consumed, mild to severe stomachache may result.

Common symptoms
Gas, cramps, loose stool or diarrhea, bloating, vomiting.

Food with lactose in it
Milk, ice cream, cheese, cream, cream cheese, sour cream, chocolate, butter.

Hydrogen breath test
A doctor can administer a hydrogen breath test. It will test if you’re "lactase deficient". You will have to drink lactose and then have to breath into a breath analyzer every 30 minutes for about 3 to 4 hours.

I did the test and I have lactose intolerance. Since I know the reason of my stomachache, I changed my nutrition and now live without pain.

In Germany lactose-free products are available. So I can still enjoy my beloved cappuccino, just with lactose-free milk!

I just wish at least one of all these doctors would have found out earlier...

More information on lactose intolerance you can find here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance
http://www.lactoseintolerant.org/

5 Year Visa Exemption for Vietnamese Adoptees

2008-07-26T15:54:00.003+02:00

By Vietnamese law most of us adoptees still have the Vietnamese citizenship. We only lost it when our adoptive parents or we ourselves officially applied for relinquishment of it with the Vietnamese ministry in charge. Due to the circumstances back in 1975, most of us didn’t.

Still our status as Vietnamese adoptees isn’t really clear yet and rules and regulations seem like a jungle of bureaucracy. Also most of us have only little documentation if at all. But at least this is what we can do:

Since September 2007 we can apply for a 5 year visa exemption for Vietnam. Means within this time we can travel back and forth as often as we want with a maximum stay of 90 days each visit. It only costs 20 USD.

More information you can find here:
http://mienthithucvk.mofa.gov.vn/Home/tabid/113/Default.aspx

Vietnamese Adoptee Searching for Birth Relatives

2008-07-26T15:39:00.013+02:00

I left Vietnam with operation babylift in April 1975 shortly before the fall of Saigon. In 1998 I went back to Vietnam for the first time. With the help of Vietnamese friends in Saigon I tried to find any birth relatives. My friends even did newspaper ads and TV spots. In the end one couple was left who could be my birth parents. We did DNA test, but unfortunately it didn’t match.

Later on I also learned that the birth certificate must not be mine. In order to fulfill adoption requirements back then, we often got birth certificates of dead babies. So chances to find any birth relatives are very low in my case. But life is full of coincidences and surprises, so it’s worth a try anyway. I can’t lose, can I.

Full name - Họ và tên
(First name / Middle name / Last name - Tên / Tên đệm / Họ)
Silke Lê Thị Thảo Pross

Vietnamese full name - Họ và tên Việt Nam
(Last name / Middle name / First name - Họ / Tên đệm / Tên)
Nguyễn Thị Thảo or Lê Thị Thảo

Date of birth - Ngày sinh
(YYYY/MM/DD)
1974/09/26 or 1974/09/20 (but more likely around beginning of September)

Place of birth - Nơi sinh
Long Châu (Vinh Long)

Orphanage - Cô Nhi Viện
Bao Loc in Vinh Long and New Haven in Saigon

I left Vietnam on April 4, 1975 with Lufthansa German Airlines (Ambassador Special Flight) to Frankfurt/Germany via Bangkok/Thailand. I have been adopted by German parents, who lived in Italy at that time. My adoption had been processed by International Social Service. More information is available on request.

Since I lived and worked in Saigon I found a sense of identity and a feeling of belonging. I now know I belong in both worlds and I can live in both of them. I like Germany and I love Vietnam. Knowing this finally gave me some inner peace. Everything more would be more than I expect.

Thanks to my friends in Germany and in Vietnam who always supported me. Special thanks to my adoptee friends in Saigon and to Susan McDonald!